Pints, piledrivers and bus replacement services part 3 - Progress chapter 40 - angel intercepted. Destination Sheffield 02.
December 11th, Progress chapter 40, angel intercepted. Sheffield 02
The train down - first class, but there are three problems. My charger and headphones are at home, so no pre listening to anything for me. Apart from the cheerful ladies either on a birthday or hen do. And the children that a family have so conveniently dumped on to the next table over.
Miniature humanoid "there's a button on the side of my chair, does that mean explosion?"
At this time on a Sunday morning, I wish it did. Well, as long as it didn't affect the train getting to Sheffield.
One thing I did bring is my hip flask, and a little ingenuity. Quick scout to another (non quiet) carriage, then moving my little ticket thing to an unreserved seat and boom. Little miss pyromaniac can blow her seat up all she likes.
The complimentary coffee comes around and bah gawd it's good. Half a cup and I've went from "what the hell am I doing up this early on a Sunday" to trying not to start chanting at the other occupants of the train. In order to calm myself down I acquire some earphones and queue up everything. "Machine Gun" by Portishead starts up and provides completely fictional tangent number 1 for my mind to wander down.
The complimentary food in first class doesn't have armbar and chicken wings on as a main course. This leads to umbrella based shenanigans and Marty Scurll going to the food bar and snapping every single KitKat before putting them back in the shelf.
Whoever the fuck thought that amount of caffeine on a Sunday morning was a good idea needs a slap
One more cup of coffee later, a complimentary yogurt that could easily have contained enough seeds to keep a budgie going for a month, and it's changeover time. From the penthouse to the outhouse, as the Doncaster to Sheffield leg takes place on one of those trains they send to places they're not bothered about getting them back from. To top it off, this particular cattle car is overcrowded thanks to a proper train getting cancelled earlier. I would be pretty pissed off if I was standing to be honest.
First progress hoodie spotted at 1130, had a natter with the lads, dead friendly.
I'm saving the station tap for after the show, but for now, I'm at the Howard. A nice, reasonably priced pint of Jennings Red Breast, in a bar that's just opened. It's pretty good in here, no sky sports, the music isn't intrusive, and it looks like it serves good food. Ringwood "Thor's choice" is the other "not hobgoblin" beer on tap, and it's good. I'm not normally one for pales, but this one is spot on. Ringwood haven't disappointed me yet in the way of a good beer. Tulip glass, nice tight head, spot on
The queue
Someone brought biscuits - class act these lot. We got diverted from a ramp to the main street. The owner of generic furnishings incorporated, which happened to be hidden behind the queue after diversion, didn't like it. "Come on bruv, you're blocking my shop" doesn't carry much weight when security have just told best part of 750 people to stand there. Neither does the token gesture of moving a couple of packs of bed in a bag garish duvet covers. Surely the £30 chairs would be the only potential things to be borrowed in a queue. The urge to start a chant at the shop guy was resisted "shit couch no fans" and "Progress on fire, standing lamp is terrified" were both on the list of potential ones if the fella had kept going. He did at one point try to sell a lamp that vaguely resembled a testicle to someone further down the queue, which seemed slightly odd. I was wondering if he was a plant (that's not a plant it's a tin of pineapples).
Into the venue. They've got a good bottled beer on, and it costs the same as the shit tetleys. I got to shake hands with Scurll and ZSJ at the merch table, managing not to make enough of a dick of myself to end up losing an arm/finger (despite putting my pint down on a carefully selected empty part of the table - sorry Marty)
Good view of the ring from row 4 on the floor. I did promise that if the New Nation were on, i wasn't going to sit on the stage, even if it meant being in row 2 (I've successfully managed to not have "blood" spat at me for 5 months, buggered if that's gonna change)
They've done a good job with the layout here as pretty much everyone had a decent view of the ring. The venue itself (around 10 min from the train station) is pretty much run of the mill 02 academy inside - non-intrusive bar lighting, good focus well placed on the ring and stage respectively. The sound here is good as well - but I'd be worried if it wasn't - it's a music venue for Christ's sake!
The card is stacked and the place is packed, it's time to get the show on the road after the introduction from Jim Smallman.
Nice of him to mention Kris Travis during his opening bit.
After a bit of warm up banter with the Christmas jumper wearers in the crowd to get things going
New Nation v London Riots
Henry and Prime attack early, a surprising dive fest from the Riots which was a bit out of character for them. Other memorable moments included Davis removing his face guard and headbutting Prime, The audience giving an "evil Same Zayn" chant to Henry, and a trade of spears between James Davis and Primate. The Riots go over after a catapult into a spear
Natural Progressions Series tourney match
Bea Priestly vs Toni Storm
Bea comes out first, lower back taped.
Massive reaction for Toni, who everyone was happy to see in good health after word spread that she had been injured in a recent match and that her appearance may have been in question. Bea is incorporating little bits of Osprey offence into the match - the "cheeky nandos" kick came a little out of the blue. The trademark chewing gum dip took place during a camel clutch. Toni's offence did seem to focus on the lower back (well, if you're going to tape it, it's like painting a bullseye on it really).
Toni Storm over with a dead lift DDT/brain buster, back cracker and a top rope legdrop in a brilliant match (even if she did leave her eyelashes in the ring)
Atlas title open challenge
Rampage is out to what Jim calls "the best music in the f--king world"
All of a sudden we get that Roy Wood song (the first time I've heard it this year due to careful evasive techniques) and we are treated to a visit from... "Banta Clause" (Dave Mastiff)
El(f) Ligero's out with mastiff and Nathan Cruz looks mortified.
Nice bit of craic with the audience here, even having one of the Christmas jumper wearers sit on his knee at one point. Rampage is loving this, almost corpsing when a black "bah humbug" hat was put on Cruz's head.
Mastiff went for a chop with Rampage against the ring post. He missed, and it sounded like a church bell. Rampage takes advantage.
I can't believe I'm typing this, but even with a knackered hand, An off duty Santa just gave a vicious German suplex to Rampage.
This is full on "big lads wrestling". Back suplex to Mastiff by Rampage. The "ho ho ho" references seem to have evolved into a hacksaw Jim Duggan style "hooooooooo!" from the crowd.
Rampage over after evading a cannonball, and hitting a pile-driver. fantastic match, good split between hard hitting atlas division action and just the right amount of banter
Jimmy Havoc vs Marty Scurll - no disqualification match.
Scurll out first, my god I'm glad I got the chance to hear Machine-gun by Portishead over this good a PA system it sounds glorious, and Scurll looks fired up brandishing his umbrella as havoc shuffles out holding his wrist? Is he injured again? No - the coat opens and fuck me havoc has an axe. The crew race to stop him from advancing with it. They get it away from him before one of them gets knocked down. Scurll sneaks a shot with the umbrella knocking havoc back through the curtain. The crew try to get him back into the ring. Havoc re-emerges and dives off the stage into a sea of crew, crowd and Scurll. Multiple scrambles to get the hell out of the way while they kicked each other all over the gaff, a staple gun, multiple chairs (found, in position and handed to havoc), drawing pins and of course a table all used to full effect in this one. Both guys pulled everything out of the bag here. Watch it. Seriously, watch it on demand progress.
Acid Rainmaker after a back suplex on to the drawing pins finishes this cavalcade of violence giving havoc the win.
Interval. The local venue security are having a ball at this one.
FSU vs origin
Origin represented by El(f) ligero and Nathan Cruz. Dave Mastiff is out with them, not dressed as Banter Clause, but sporting a double beer can hard hat. Cruz is blatantly pissed off at the other two for not taking it seriously
Mandrews and Eddie Dennis come to a great reaction. Eddie is a beast.
Some nice double teaming from FSU. A hilarious test of strength evolving into a chicken fight type situation. Honestly, I'm having trouble typing about this, it's insane. Then Cruz has to come and ruin it.
Duelling dives from FSU, and more great double team manoeuvres.
Cracking double submission from Origin - Cruz with an inverted cloverleaf and Ligero locking in the rings of Saturn - mandrews is getting stretched something rotten here. Dennis breaks it up
Ligero and Mastiff uncork a bag of celebrations and drop them over the canvas. Cruz looks more and more pissed off, tagging in Ligero who gets pushed into Cruz.
FSU over after a roll up. It definitely looks like the origin has a split happening. I can't wait for Mastiff to squash Cruz.
Adam Cole vs Will Osprey up next
Nice reception for both guys, not sure why Osprey felt the need to eat the union flag (it's not a jack unless it's on a boat. Thank me later) though.
This looks like it's got its origins in a faction feud from Japan here - Cole from the bullet club and Osprey representing chaos apparently. I've not been following Japanese wrestling as closely, so I don't really know the importance of this.
Osprey has his shoulder taped up and Cole has a sizeable knot in the side of his forehead - they've been in the wars already by the looks of it.
A fair bit of mocking going on from Cole of Osprey. Early on it seems fairly one sided towards Cole. Osprey doesn't seem fully with it during this match - I'm starting to wonder if there's something a bit more wrong with him. Just as I type that, he starts with the Dragonball z flying about and bouncing all over the place. Has he found his mojo?
Cole regains the upper hand with a fireman's carry neckbreaker leading to some good back and forth strikes vs flips action.
Jumping destroyer piledriver by Cole, Osprey out at 2. Cheeky Nandos kick and an inverted 450 splash by Osprey and Cole is out at 2. This is riveting, if a bit weird pacing wise.
3 super kicks and it looks like Osprey is done, but a last adrenaline rush sees him kick out at 1!
Cole with another superkick, knee strike and fireman's carry neckbreaker to finish it.
As I said before, the pace of this one was really erratic, but it made it unmissable.
Progress championship on the line with Pete Dunne against Zack Sabre junior.
ZSJ out first, the odd errant streamer flying in for him. Those three letters are a guarantee of a top notch match in my opinion.
I'm really not sure about the intro music for British Strong Style. Tyler bate, looking like a gangster you'd see hanging out in a prohibition era bar, is out with Dunne - Trent Seven is up in Scotland working for ICW tonight.
Pete seems to like the taste of plastic and leather, as his trademark mouth guard is chomping down on the strap of the progress title belt.
The bell rings, and right away Tyler is getting involved and is sent to the back
A technical masterclass here - pure and simple. I've said it earlier, just watch this match, it's unbelievable.
Even when it breaks down into a battle of strikes, its used as a lead in for more technical back and forth.
At one point ZSJ occupied a seat in the front row. The guy next to him demonstrated amazing beer retention techniques while the kicks came in from Dunne. Kudos to him.
I really cannot begin to do this match justice by typing out highlights, because the entire match is loaded with them. This is what the renaissance of British wrestling is, right here.
Dunne has to be thankful he was wearing the mouth guard at a couple points tonight, because he was almost decapitated by ZSJ's penalty kicks.
Dunne went over eventually with the "drop dead" pump handle flatliner.
If there's any reason to shell out for demand progress, this show is it. Absolutely fantastic.
Post show a quick natter with a couple of the guys I'd seen earlier and a few more fellas down at the tap in the station. Followed by a strange trip home thanks to various rail issues, but overall this journey was definitely worth the odd travel, the show knocked it out of the park I met some great people out there, as well as getting to buy a ZSJ T-shirt from the man himself. Absolutely loved it.
Hopefully I'll be visiting progress on this tour again, if I can win the "fastest finger first" game and get a ticket to a camden show.
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